February 21, 2010

Home Musings

Hello my Sweet Darlings,

I hope you have been well and spring is on it's way there for you too. Do we see the same moon? I have a 1/4 moon here and the nightscapes look so beautiful with the snow and silver light. Too bad my digital camera can't take photo's at night. Well, maybe I will get one of those soon.

A few signs and newspaper articles have been posted around our district, Ice fishing Derbies. I love Walleye but don't think I'd make a great fishing partner since I would babble on and on about this, that and what not, totally distracted. Oh yes, and no idea how a ice auger works and slow to pull a rod out of the water. Some strange worries of falling in. You don't want to know how many people complained about me losing fish and teased about starving to death if fishing was the only food available.

A large gathering of wild birds can be found at my house these days. Wow! I'm quite pleased since I get to hear them in the mornings. My sons get annoyed with the noisy Blue Jays though when they're trying to watch T.V. They even ask if they can practice their shooting skills on the birds! all in fun but the thought, hmm.

A few wolves have been seen in our little community too. Somebody lost their dog when a pack went after the wolf pack. I just hope that children didn't see any evidence of the violence. I know, it's part of the animal world but that is one mess I wouldn't want any child to see.

Alright, I know you must run as duty calls. I will leave these for you and hope we part with you chuckling, for now, ---> Some Funnies

The Washington Post's Style Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's winners:

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding a stupid person that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

10 Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an a--hole.

Why Men Have Better Friends

Women's Friends:

A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The husband called his wife's ten best friends. None of them had seen her or knew what he was talking about.

Men's Friends:

A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The wife called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.

Sarcastic Dares

-- Call a political candidate's campaign office and ask them for a donation to your non-candidacAy.

-- Find someone who is big into worrying about the threat of global warming, remind them of their own carbon dioxide and body heat contribution to the planet, and ask them to stop it.

-- Send a bill to every TV station, radio station, cell phone company, and satellite company, charging them an "access fee" for the waves they broadcast through your property. If they refuse payment, charge them with trespassing.

I hope you have a good week. Please take care and stay safe.

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